No #2 Pencil necessary. We will give you ink.

I woke up at 6 a.m. on my day off to avoid the long lines and make sure I got it in. I walked all of two blocks to the elementary school in my neighborhood. Figured out what line to stand in. And waited. Silently, like everyone else. As I stood there I swelled with so many emotions. All of these people are waiting for their turn to say what matters. I've never stood in line to make a choice like that before. Last time I sent an absentee ballot from college. But today I was going to see democracy in person. I was moved by the number of people filing into the hallway. My choice doesn't matter more or less than the young hipster couple in front of me or the working mother behind me… But this ballot, this weirdly long paper with a billion languages on it, was all mine. 

All these poll workers were here to help me make my beliefs count. Literally. I made sure to thank them knowing all the torture coming their way from all these crazy New Yorkers. But I’m glad I got to do it here, especially in Queens. It made me realize how many different kinds of people get to make their voices heard. On the surface we’re just filling in bubbles on scantron sheets. But inside we’re all hoping that those pen marks transform into something better. Hoping that this whole system isn’t just a charade. Hoping that all this money, and time, and arguing has been a catalyst for us all to move forward. Even though the voting lines will be gone tomorrow, we will still have a choice to make. I choose to focus on the potential of this country, the spirit of the people, and the unity that a day like today reminds me can be possible. I choose to not forget that change starts with one person and that tolerance goes a long way. And most importantly I choose to stay awake the next four years and not forget everything that just happened. The 2016 candidates are out there and watching this competition. They are already planning their moves and I don’t want to notice them only after they’ve been plucked and teased by someone else. If we notice them earlier, then maybe we have a chance at doing some of the plucking. 

Safety Net.

As I've mentioned before - the time constraints on my workout schedule are pretty strict. So guess what happens when I start working 12 hour days?....

I essentially took a week off. Not by choice. But I honestly couldn't keep up with cooking and gym schedule. By the time I got home, the gym was only open for another 15 minutes. Which also meant if I was going to cook my meals for the next day I was going to start cooking at 10:45pm.

Thank you iPhone.

So now that everyone is pretty much sold out of the damn thing I can get a grip. I was so intensely motivated on this program that taking a break has been hard. It's going to be even harder to get back to that level of intensity.

Thankfully, I have the best support ever. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly finish it. Just when I thought I had messed it all up. He gave me a push. He cleaned the kitchen so I could cook. He cleaned my desk so I could get some work done for the next three busy days. He fed me with a healthy meal. And most importantly, he knew just how to motivate me.

So here's to my wonderful husband. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude I literally want to shout it to the world. I guess this is as close as it gets.


P.S. I bought that swimming suit for myself for when I complete the program. It was still in the shipping box until he opened it and placed it in plain sight to remind me of my goals.

Pause.

I took a break in the program. I felt like I was so exhausted I was going to either injure myself or someone else by sheer clumsiness. I only took two days off so I'm not falling off the path...I just needed to pause and re-evaluate. Why was I so tired?

Cause 1: So I'm pretty sure everyone knows the iPhone is launching soon. Working at a wireless carrier means that I'm breathing this fact 24/7. It also means that I want to work harder, faster, and longer than normal to take advantage of the traffic coming into the store.

Cause 2: The workouts are getting longer and harder. As I mentioned before, working 9 hours a day and then another 2 hours in the gym is pretty tiring. I love working out and I love feeling strong but I also love to sleep and sit around my apartment. Matt and I calculated that I spend more time in my week at the gym then I do sitting down...yikes. I started to feel some pain in my right knee (it has occasionally emerged over the years) so I decided to go easy on the legs this week.

Cause 3: I am not eating enough calories. I am not drinking enough water. I am not eating frequently enough. The solution to this problem was to give myself some more time for to plan for these things. Yeah. Right. When?

Cause 4: I am sick of chicken.

I also started to realize other things were eating into my time like coordinating with my consulting jobs, planning trips, and planning big life changes like possibly moving... I kept having this thought that doing all this work to get fit is just taking time away from solving my real problems. So when I'm done with this huge goal that's sucking up all my time...I'll look really good... but I won't have a better job, I won't have more money, I won't know any more about what I want to do with my life, and I still won't be able to go home for Christmas.

I needed a break.

I didn't eat chicken for three days! I didn't do two of the workouts. And I bought a new pair of dress pants. They make me feel....in charge.

And so now I'm back in it to win it.

If I'm nurturing myself I should have MORE energy not less. When I look good I feel GREAT. I'm so far into this program that I can't quit now. With a little bit more effort on the diet side I will see a huge payoff in mood and energy. With only 5 weeks left, I'm over half-way there! Let's start that second wind.