My things.

We had our garage sale this weekend at my parent's house. We sold a lot of things that meant a lot to me. Like my bedroom set. My parents' first bedroom set. My toys. My clothes. And some random stuff that frankly seems like junk.

But when someone holds up a box of your grandmother's old costume jewelry and asks how much? And you say "5 dollars." And she looks at you in disgust and offers you $1. It can drive a person a little mad. A little crazy. A lot of heart break.

"How much for this?" as they hold up a stuffed animal. And you think, "how much for this? This fluffy little animal you remember being on your parent's bed since you were a little girl." And I just stared at it. My stomach sinking at the shock of having to do this. Price? Worth? To who? No one can pay me for half of the stuff we had out in our yard, I thought.

"A dollar," I said.
She tossed it back in the pile.

At the end of the blistering hot day I sat at the back of my driveway in a puddle of my sweat watching these two old men walk away with my bedroom furniture. Before they were gone I remembered something that I just had to have. I ran up to my bed post and slid my hand down the back of the headboard.

"There." I looked around to show someone that I had hid a key to my diary on my bed post from when I was 12 years old. It had remained there for about 12 years on a piece of sticky tack. No one was around to show. So, I thought it was meant to be this way. It was my last few moments with my bed. I was removing the last part of it that was mine. And I said goodbye.

I've always valued my things. Everything that I still have, I want to have. My things never leave me. They have comforted me since I was very small. Reminding me of who I am and where I've been. They remind me of people and events that make me happy. They've made it through all the moves. They are reliable and tangible and mine.

For all of the survivors of this "cleaning." This moving. I congratulate you. I don't value you any less than before. In fact, probably more since your quantity has diminished so. Letting go is never easy, but I know deep inside that it's for the better. New York will bring more happiness. And if I keep my happiness in my things I'm going to need to make room...