Things I definitely don't miss about college.

After a recent visit to college I was reminded of several reasons why I'm glad to not be going back this fall.



1. Traffic in Gainesville. Not being able to run back to the apartment before rehearsal because rush hour traffic = 1 hour round trip.

2. Taking buses to campus. Taking buses home from campus. Not being able to park on campus until exactly 4:30? (I don't remember the time).

3. Exams. Studying. Not studying enough. Thinking you're studying enough but not getting the grade you think you deserved.

4. Rain on campus. Being absolutely drenched from your flip flops to your ponytail once you get in a highly air conditioned classroom or bus.

5. Listening to dumb conversations on the bus.

6. Walking up the hill from the psych building to the theater building.

7. All-nighters.

8. Papers. Papers. Papers.

9. Being 1,000 miles away from Matt.

.....


.....


I guess you can imagine that I miss about every single freaking other thing. Friends, taking classes, the library, working on shows all the time, rolls 'n bowls, buying school supplies, being forced to read all the time, themed parties, having an excuse for being undecided, facebook stalking, easy party crashing, being around young people...and deadlines.

Most importantly deadlines. Because now there is no end in sight for anything unless I choose. The hardest part about choosing is the follow-through (obviously). So even though I have all these loose plans - no one is going to pick a deadline for me, for my life, or my goals. It's all on me now.

I'M READY TO MAKE MY MOVE.

I flashed through the life of my eyes.

This weekend I watched myself grow up.
There is nothing more sobering than looking at yourself.
All 23 years of yourself. In one weekend.

It didn't make me ponder the physics of time or feel the bittersweet tug of childhood.
Going through all of my things made me see myself. My family. The progression of a person through her first steps to her basketball games to her first kiss to her now at the brink of becoming something great.

But I think looking back I always felt that way. Most moments were bursting with hope and a sense of awesome destiny.

There were moments, however, that I wish I could change. There's a sense of pain in seeing yourself be less than triumphant.

I'm still learning to appreciate the awkwardness of learning to be yourself. I guess it's always happening but somehow you become more graceful? I feel more confident. Hopefully the worst is over.....

If I have to watch my 24th birthday party in 10 years I'll probably still want to rip my head off.

I bet I'll look back on this entry and feel embarrassed someday too.
Sigh.

Venue shopping.

We looked at our first venue today and church-hopped a bit.

It was a cute little historic home on the St. Johns River. Quaint. Southern.

I think we might want more of a party atmosphere though. I felt like the little house would be cute if my dress was more casual.

I want to step it up. Unfortunately I feel like a hotel would be the best place for a worry-free wedding party so that no one has to think about traveling etc. But ughhhh I can't help wanting something really special and not a hotel.

Plus all the hotels I would like to choose are definitely out of my price range.....

Holiday Inn here we come!

Say yes to the mess.

Growing up is so hard.

I don't like messing up.
I don't like spending money.
I don't like fighting.
I don't like doing the right thing when no one else will.

I don't like change. But I'm oh so ready to breath new life into my lungs.

Specificity isn't just a lesson in acting. It's a lesson in decision-making. It's a lesson in success.

Thank God.

My life is a sitcom.

I should start treating it like one.

GO FOR WHAT I WANT. FEARLESSLY. unashamed.

Learn my lessons.

Lose 15 lbs.

and ALWAYS make an entrance.

Reasons why I can't complain about getting a flat tire.

Reason #1: I got off work early today.

My piano lesson wasn't until 6 o'clock so I had that awkward amount of time that's only long enough to stop by Target and buy something special.

Reason #2: I love my partner in crime.

So I decided to buy a present for him. Because he's him.

Reason #3: He knows how to change a spare tire.

So when I realized the air in my tire had excused itself from my journey, I called him. He drove 30 minutes to my car and changed the tire for me.

And I gave him his present.

For being him.