So as you’ve probably gathered, Phase 3 of my workout didn’t
happen. I was flying back and fo
rth from LA to NY to
Dallas getting set-up for
this new job.
Dallas
isn’t a particularly exciting place to move after living in NYC for 2 years.
All my friends are in NYC and I’ve become accustomed to the lifestyle. I
basically love the idea of living in NYC. The crowds, the fast-paced commute,
the “hard-knock” life of it all is a measure of pride. I lived in the big apple
and I did it for two years. Bring it on
Texas.
What have you got?
The offer was a higher paying job, the best hours you could
ask for and a lower cost of living. Sure, up front would be higher because we’d
have to buy cars and insurance and stuff. But with my new job it wouldn’t be so
tight. We settled for an inexpensive apartment. The best we could find with a
washer and dryer inside (yes!). The
whole idea of the move and lure of the southwest of the ability to save
money…so let’s go all the way. We bought an endearing rustic orange used car
that had low miles but great gas mileage. The compromises seemed worthwhile
with the promise of a better quality of life. No more late night stays at work
with rude customers and long commutes. No more holiday shifts and my family
getting the short-end of the stick. I was finally getting the life I had always
wanted. I even got to move closer to some of my favorite relatives. I don’t
want to stay here forever, but I feel like it is a good stepping stone to
something better for me and my husband. A way out of the rut we were living in.
My company even paid for us to leave NYC and move to Dallas. How could we say no?
I worked for about a month for my new company before I left
for the holidays. I woke up every morning before work and exclaimed my
gratitude for this job. “I love my job!” I would say as I left in the morning
and sometimes when I returned home in the afternoon. I even got a full week
vacation at home in Florida
over Christmas time before I left for a cruise with Matt’s family. That is the
longest period of time I’ve had off since I was in college.
I loved being on a cruise. No cell phones made everything so
simple and close; food, drinks, activities, the bedroom. It was like being on a
retreat with some of your favorite people and nothing else could interfere. The
weather was somewhat cold in the last two days but we made the best of it! As
the trip ended and we started packing up the room I decided to turn on my phone
so I could tell my Mom when to pick me up at the terminal. A flood of text
messages came in. One from an unknown number was particularly puzzling. It read
“It was a pleasure working with y’all. It sucks it had to end this way.” I knew
the area code was from Las Vegas.
Only one person I knew would have that area code and it was a guy from my new
company. His wife was expecting so I assumed something happened and he had to
resign. He was a great employee and even trained me a few days so I knew it
couldn’t be business related. I was pretty bummed.
On the morning of New Year’s Eve we finally docked and I
could get my emails without significant roaming charges so I began to sift
through them. I got one from a different colleague who also expressed her
regrets about leaving the company. What is going on? Where they letting people
go? Why didn’t they contact me? I begin to notice the string of emails about a
conference call that took place two days ago.
Oh.
I better call someone. No answers anywhere. The guy from Las Vegas called me back.
“Hey, what’s going on? I just got off of my cruise and
missed the conference call.”
“Oh…you don’t know? ... The company closed down. They
basically laid everyone off. The first person I thought of was you since you
just moved here and everything. I’m really sorry…”
“Okay. Well thanks for letting me know. Good luck with
everything.”
“You too.”
So that was it. It was over? I just moved across the country
for nothing? All I could think about was how I was going to tell my husband. I
was still in shock. All I could say was “Okay.” No tears or screams or shouts.
Just a simple acknowledgement. In less than two hours I was going to get on a
plane back to Texas.
For no reason. To an apartment that was only okay because I was going to make a
lot of money. To a city that was only okay because I would have better hours.
To a job that was okay because it was the only other option I had than working
at a cell phone store.
I’ve been staying pretty positive overall. I realize that
the only purpose this job served in my life as a whole was getting me out of New York. Why? I’m not
sure yet. But I have faith that there is something out here for me that I
couldn’t find in the city. It was strange to find out on New Year’s Eve that
the biggest change in my life was completely different than what I thought it
was going to be. It doesn’t feel good to
bring in the New Year unemployed. Every thought I had about what my life was
going to be is obsolete. All I can do is breathe, have faith, and redirect my
hopes to something new. This is my chance to start over. Rediscover some of my
passions and create the life that I want.
I have declared that this is going to be the best year ever.
