Right Brain, Left Brain Debunked

Artwork from Mercedes Benz Advertising

When I read this article on Huffington Post, I thought it came to me at an opportune time. I was distracting myself from collecting my thoughts for a meeting with a recruiter. This three-year-long job search is quite exhausting and I'm wondering how many more ways I can box myself up on a piece of paper (the answer is an annoying infinity).

Right Brain, Left Brain Debunked- Huffington Post

As I'm writing down a "synopsis" of my background, my specialties, and differentiators, I feel dejavu. Not because I've been applying to jobs for forEVER, but because my paper seems to resemble an essay I wrote for that dreaded "Common App" to get into colleges. Remember that? A general app designed to make it easier for you to apply to more colleges when really it was just a hoop to get to all the "supplemental forms." Anyway, I wrote an essay detailing an internal struggle between a scientist and an artist living in the same body. And this was before I went to college and lived out 4 years of this struggle. Luckily I found the science of people which happens to fall directly in between my two selves: psychology.

My psychology degree isn't what you think. I'm not "analyzing" you. In fact, most of my time was spent in a cinder block basement organizing data, reading, and writing in the dark. Even though it was glamorous I still felt like it wasn't totally right. You see, I couldn't let go of my theater-self and refused to acknowledge my personal limitations on time management... so I did both. For four years. And when I was done. I felt no closer to either self. One of my close friends said something to me in passing that has stuck with me throughout the years, "you always have one foot in and one foot out."

She's right. I usually feel like I have to choose between two passions or paths that seem so different that I couldn't possibly do both. I always looked at this as a burden that weighed on me in my personal life and my job search. Who am I if I can't decide what I am?

I've always been plagued by the whole "left brain vs. right brain" question. But like the scientists have decided, I don't think there's really a difference for me. I think I have one big middle brain. For some reason I've been straddling an imaginary chasm. I don't know what has changed but I can finally see from a different perspective that I've been hiding my most valuable asset: I CAN DO BOTH. I'll scream it from the rooftops. I CAN DO BOTH. I've got both feet in and I'm gonna do the hokey pokey and turn myself around.

That's what it's all about!

What it's like to be a Positive Nancy.

Finally finished my fitness inspiration board I started 8 months ago. This is a physical board I'm going to hang in my kitchen. It felt really nice to make something with my hands.

April 1st is a new beginning in so so many ways. I'm getting ready...I know planning is imperative to meet my goals.

I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. - Rosa Parks

Female intensely seeking career, loosely seeking job

I'd like to look at myself 4 years out of college and say that it got easier. 

"It" meaning "life." But since when does that ever happen? I feel more lost now than I did 4 years ago when I moved back in with my parents and had my whole professional career to define. In an ever-changing job market with new fields popping up everyday I get overwhelmed pretty easily. Apparently, I'm not the only one. Groups, committees, and entire communities are forming everyday for people like me. They are offering career workshops, interview training, resume fixing, and networking opportunities. They're so nice and supportive and positive. They're also not what I need right now. I've spent the entire beginning of the year learning how to pitch myself, change my marketing approach, hunt down the opportunities I need and meet the right people. Sounds good right?

But my problem has never been figuring out how to get what I want. My problem is that I have no idea what I want. Isn't that an age-old, universal problem? 

So I'm stuck feeling like I should want a career. 

When all I really want is to want something bad enough to go get it. 

The cover letter I really want to send...but then I chicken out.

Dear Hiring Manager,

My name is Kady Colabrese and I am interested in the -----------   position for +++++++ that I saw on Monster.com. I am looking to move my career into the marketing field and my experiences in psychology research, telecommunications, and business sales would allow me to hit the ground running with your team. I work hard and diligently to get the job done right the first time which is why I won't stop emailing, calling and stopping by your office until you give me an interview. 

I know you stopped reading by now anyway so I will give you a break and just start adding pictures.

If you'd like more information, more graphs, or the musical version of my cover letter please contact me. 

Thank you for your time,

Kady Colabrese

Updates from the Lone Star State

So as you’ve probably gathered, Phase 3 of my workout didn’t happen. I was flying back and forth from LA to NY to Dallas getting set-up for this new job. Dallas isn’t a particularly exciting place to move after living in NYC for 2 years. All my friends are in NYC and I’ve become accustomed to the lifestyle. I basically love the idea of living in NYC. The crowds, the fast-paced commute, the “hard-knock” life of it all is a measure of pride. I lived in the big apple and I did it for two years. Bring it on Texas. What have you got?

The offer was a higher paying job, the best hours you could ask for and a lower cost of living. Sure, up front would be higher because we’d have to buy cars and insurance and stuff. But with my new job it wouldn’t be so tight. We settled for an inexpensive apartment. The best we could find with a washer and dryer inside (yes!).  The whole idea of the move and lure of the southwest of the ability to save money…so let’s go all the way. We bought an endearing rustic orange used car that had low miles but great gas mileage. The compromises seemed worthwhile with the promise of a better quality of life. No more late night stays at work with rude customers and long commutes. No more holiday shifts and my family getting the short-end of the stick. I was finally getting the life I had always wanted. I even got to move closer to some of my favorite relatives. I don’t want to stay here forever, but I feel like it is a good stepping stone to something better for me and my husband. A way out of the rut we were living in. My company even paid for us to leave NYC and move to Dallas. How could we say no?

I worked for about a month for my new company before I left for the holidays. I woke up every morning before work and exclaimed my gratitude for this job. “I love my job!” I would say as I left in the morning and sometimes when I returned home in the afternoon. I even got a full week vacation at home in Florida over Christmas time before I left for a cruise with Matt’s family. That is the longest period of time I’ve had off since I was in college.

I loved being on a cruise. No cell phones made everything so simple and close; food, drinks, activities, the bedroom. It was like being on a retreat with some of your favorite people and nothing else could interfere. The weather was somewhat cold in the last two days but we made the best of it! As the trip ended and we started packing up the room I decided to turn on my phone so I could tell my Mom when to pick me up at the terminal. A flood of text messages came in. One from an unknown number was particularly puzzling. It read “It was a pleasure working with y’all. It sucks it had to end this way.” I knew the area code was from Las Vegas. Only one person I knew would have that area code and it was a guy from my new company. His wife was expecting so I assumed something happened and he had to resign. He was a great employee and even trained me a few days so I knew it couldn’t be business related. I was pretty bummed.

On the morning of New Year’s Eve we finally docked and I could get my emails without significant roaming charges so I began to sift through them. I got one from a different colleague who also expressed her regrets about leaving the company. What is going on? Where they letting people go? Why didn’t they contact me? I begin to notice the string of emails about a conference call that took place two days ago.

Oh.

I better call someone. No answers anywhere. The guy from Las Vegas called me back.

“Hey, what’s going on? I just got off of my cruise and missed the conference call.”

“Oh…you don’t know? ... The company closed down. They basically laid everyone off. The first person I thought of was you since you just moved here and everything. I’m really sorry…”

“Okay. Well thanks for letting me know. Good luck with everything.”

“You too.”

So that was it. It was over? I just moved across the country for nothing? All I could think about was how I was going to tell my husband. I was still in shock. All I could say was “Okay.” No tears or screams or shouts. Just a simple acknowledgement. In less than two hours I was going to get on a plane back to Texas. For no reason. To an apartment that was only okay because I was going to make a lot of money. To a city that was only okay because I would have better hours. To a job that was okay because it was the only other option I had than working at a cell phone store.

I’ve been staying pretty positive overall. I realize that the only purpose this job served in my life as a whole was getting me out of New York. Why? I’m not sure yet. But I have faith that there is something out here for me that I couldn’t find in the city. It was strange to find out on New Year’s Eve that the biggest change in my life was completely different than what I thought it was going to be.  It doesn’t feel good to bring in the New Year unemployed. Every thought I had about what my life was going to be is obsolete. All I can do is breathe, have faith, and redirect my hopes to something new. This is my chance to start over. Rediscover some of my passions and create the life that I want.  I have declared that this is going to be the best year ever.